STATE FAIR TIME!

Anyone who says that American ingenuity is dead can take SMASH's newest product and shove it in their fat mouth: The "Shirt on a Stick" shirt on a stick. Printed in white so you can show off all your grease and mustard stains from the week with pride, and deep fried for people who no longer have the will to live long, healthy lives.


For weeks, the t-shirt scientists here at the store had been working on something to really push the boundaries of pre-shrunk cotton. We knew we wanted something mind-blowing, something to shake the very foundations of what people know to be true, something on a stick .... but we just didn't have the technology.


The breakthrough came when we discovered a "rubber band" and put it around a wrapped up "Shirt on a Stick" shirt and then after days of struggling, stuck a stick into it. A "flash of genius," some may call it, but at SMASH, it's just another day at the office.


Grab one of the "Shirt on a Stick" shirts on a stick while supplies last. $18 in store and online

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER (SCULPTURE)!

by mikeD

It looks like the Fair's long tradition of memorializing pedophiles in butter will finally come to an end as Michael Jackson proved to be one pedophile too many for the food-on-a-stick crowd.


I'll be honest: I didn't cry when MJ died. I was more suprised to learn that he was 50 years old. The excessive media coverage at first didn't seem too offensive, then it all just got weird. Days after his death, when I heard things like, "Jackson really defined a generation" or "his music transcended race and helped bring this country together," I couldn't help but ask: WHAT THE F ARE THESE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT?!?! A good dancer and signer? Sure. Someone who transcended race? Uh .... with the help of bleach, I s'pose. Definer of a generation? Good god, I hope not.


The last thing our level-headed state needed to do was jump onto the off-the-rails-crazy, West coast tribute to that total nut-job. And I was glad to see the uproar over and eventual rejection of the Butter-Jackson. I almost got online and voted "NO," but was scared off by the e-mail requirement and the annoyance of having to automatically delete one more useless eNewsletter .... but I'm glad a lot of other people voted no.


But all isn't lost for those of you who were hoping to see something freakish at the State Fair -- you still have the Biggest Boar's massive testicles.

OTHER FAIR APPAREL

Planning on going to the Fair for multiple days?


Like to wash your shirts after you sweat in and spill grease on them? Then you may need more Fair Apparel.


Our "Type 2 Diabetes" shirt is a good shirt to keep in mind when you're thinking about getting that 6th Foot-Long Corndog or a Tenderloin that's as wide as a 1978 Yugo. Or maybe to remind you that you currently DO HAVE Type 2 Diabetes from last years fair and you should probably check your insulin levels.

And for those of you planning on hitting East Side Pride Night, give the "West Duh Moines" shirt a try. It's the best way of letting Lee Township know that all that fluff the west side of the metro has -- large houses, good schools, low crime, high average income -- doesn't hold a candle to getting belligerantly drunk and being thrown in the make-shift jail on the Fairgrounds.


Both shirts are available in store and online.

Sara Routh (Brandon's Sister) Stopped by SMASH

We were just at SMASH today minding our own business, and low and behold, in walks in Sara Routh, Yes! THE Sara Routh. Shanghai's acoustic pop sensation, native iowan, and loving sister to Brandon Routh. She hung out a bit and played Justin's guitar for a few minutes. Her myspace and facebook are banned in her home in Shanghai so enjoy the freedom of good music state-side. We posted a short snippet of her playing in the store on our facebook.


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